Normal
by mythirdeye
Summary: Clark's POV on his powers


This is Clark's POV on his powers and being normal. Since I wrote it all in one sitting, it'll probably suck, but never mind.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Not mine.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
It's a nice sunset.  
  
Sitting alone, legs crossed, I have a magnificent view of the sunset in front of me. The sky is orange with a tinge of pink and the colors seem to explode everywhere, making Smallville look like a breathtaking portrait. Everything looks peaceful and quiet.  
  
Somewhere out there, my Mom's making up dinner, my Dad's somewhere in the farm, Pete is at football practice, Chloe's at the Torch, Lana's at the Talon (which is why I've abandoned my telescope today), Lex is at his mansion, and everything is normal.  
  
Smallville, despite the ongoing cases of freak incidents, at this moment when the sun is setting and all is quiet, is the epitome of peaceful.  
  
But the peace can't quiet my thoughts today.  
  
What's bothering me?  
  
Well, in a nutshell, it's who I am. I'm… well, I can't even find a word for it. Chloe once found a suitable name (although kind of egotistical for my taste) for Eric a few months ago, after he heroically saved her laptop from a burglar therefore got himself an eternal spot in her good books.  
  
Superboy.  
  
Sounds like a joke.  
  
Ego aside though, it's true. I'm literally a super human. But there's the cliché, the Other Joke. I'm an alien, not a human. I even have the pod to prove it.  
  
Maybe in a less controversial way, let's just say I'm abnormal.  
  
Chloe once told me that she thought she was abnormal. Abnormally nosy. I'd rather call her abnormally ambitious in seeking truths. She scared me once in her quest to find out my past. So scared I found myself yelling at her to stop.  
  
I still feel really guilty about that, although she deserved it.  
  
I tend to get really protective over the people I love. You see it's peaceful at this farm, but the truth about me would ruin it.  
  
My abnormalities aren't a personality trait. I know everyone's abnormal in a way. You don't even have to look at the Wall of Weird, just at the person in front of you.  
  
But I'm abnormal to the point of being alien, or in my case, because of my being an alien. I have powers, you see. The kind of power a person can only dream of.  
  
The kind of power that can break you, never mind a steel wall. I've lived with this power all of my life and sometimes the extent of my strength still scares me.  
  
And it stops me from being normal.  
  
The disadvantages of my strength are endless. I can't participate in sports or be a normal person. My parents, as great as they are, can be really over protective and that stops me from being a normal teenager. I guess I can understand why they feel they have to be so over protective, but all the same, it frustrates me.  
  
Sure they have their advantages. Chores are never a problem, and I don't get leg cramps or nose bleeds. I even save people with my strength, from the never-ending supply of mutated folk the meteorites produce.  
  
Why do I feel like I have to save everyone? I've even gotten pain from my parents, Chloe and Lex over this question. I know I can't blame myself for every single thing that happens but it feels like I should because it's MY responsibility. Those people turned genetically defected because of those meteorites, which came from meteors that wreaked havoc on Smallville the same time that I arrived into this planet. I know the meteors were not purposefully arranged by me, but maybe they happened because of me.  
  
So I save people. It makes me feel better. Like I'm making right all the wrongs those meteors caused.  
  
Is this my destiny? Saving people?  
  
It seems like too much of a responsibility for one guy. Super or not.  
  
My fear comes at the wonder if there ever will be a day when I fail to save a life. I know it's inevitable, but how will I handle it? What if it's someone I love? Super or not super, I'm not God. Although sometimes I wish I had a direct phone line so I could ask Him to lay off the innocent people.  
  
But if I did, I'd probably ask Him to get rid of my abilities and make me normal. Mom and Dad would be happier for it.  
  
They say that a person's disability can heighten the sense of another. In my case, my strength leaves me very helpless when it comes to the people I love. No matter how strong you are, there are just some things you can't prevent, and this thought kills me.  
  
What if one day, I don't get there in time? And someone would die because I was a second too late. What if that someone what someone that I loved?  
  
It's too much responsibility for one guy.  
  
But.  
  
It's MY responsibility.  
  
I don't know.  
  
If I could, would I get rid of my strength?  
  
I did once, for a few days, and it didn't make me happy, it made me helpless. And vulnerable.  
  
It was like I didn't know what to do with my time if I couldn't look out for people.  
  
I was incredibly jealous and resentful at Eric for showcasing his (my) strength like it's a talent everyone should be in awe of. And it worked, at first, but the word 'freak' came along shortly enough. The way everyone treated him after that, scared out of their wits, disturbed me. Would they treat me like that if they knew?  
  
Would Pete be afraid to come near me? Would Chloe put up my picture on the Wall of Weird, as the reason for every scary thing in Smallville? Would Lex kidnap me, lock me up in a lab and have specialists do tests on me? Would Lana run away from me?  
  
I'd like to think that they wouldn't, but you can't know things like these. Not for sure.  
  
I think everyone would just prefer me as Clark Kent, the farm boy. I prefer me that way.  
  
Basketball was great though, for those few days.  
  
But I couldn't save a person without the risk of losing my own life. Never mind that I'd never get there on time. And I accepted that it was a responsibility I didn't have to deal with anymore, but it left me empty. And aimless. And really weak.  
  
And late for school.  
  
And it gave me leg cramps and nose bleeds.  
  
Maybe they're kind of good feelings. Normal feelings. But I understand the mechanics of abnormal strength better than normal ones.  
  
And I could continue saving people, as much as I can.  
  
And maybe, in another way, my family and friends are safer this way. I could always look out for them and I would always have a better chance at helping them.  
  
Maybe that IS my destiny.  
  
Am I supposed to argue with my destiny?  
  
Who says that power is a bad thing? If you use it well, there can be good things. Even great things.  
  
I'd settle for the good things.  
  
Who knows? X-Ray vision one day, floating over my bed another day, maybe there are still some things about me that I need to learn more about. Ways to lessen the possibilities of not being there on time.  
  
Maybe I'd learn how to fly. That would be pretty cool.  
  
Maybe this is something I'll be doing for the rest of my life. It's a scary thought, but maybe it's time I live with my fears.  
  
I wouldn't call myself Superboy, though.  
  
I sigh loudly and feel… better.  
  
It really is a beautiful sunset. 


End file.
